Dr. ABBAS 

My Husband - Sex "no-go"

Q. My husband works a 12hour day and is usually very tired when he gets home. Normally he has energy to eat dinner, finish working and then go to bed. Therefore, sex is normally a no go. This would not bother me so much if he did not masturbate in the morning. After he masturbates he does not want sex as much that evening. I do not have a problem with masturbation but I do not choose it over the real thing and is turning into an ugly cycle. Do you have any suggestions?

A. Let me offer you one piece of practical advice, which is to schedule when you are going to have sex. Maybe if he knows that you two have a date to have sex that evening, he will not masturbate in the morning and then he will be ready to go that night. Or else you could set your alarm for half an hour earlier and have sex before he gets up to go to work. You do not have to do that every day, but again, maybe if you put having sex on your morning schedule from time to time, that could work. Having sex in the morning might be helpful if he is used to having sexual release in the morning, and particularly as the level of testosterone, the male sex hormone, is highest in the morning.
 

Boyfriend Does not like to Cuddle

Q. My boyfriend of 2 years does not like to cuddle. He will for a few minutes but only if I practically ask him and/or force myself into his arms, even then he finds some reason to get up after only a minute or two. We live apart so I feel the need to make the most of the small amount of time we have together and this lack of cuddling makes me feel like we are not as close as we used to be. We still have sex as often but it is not very romantic anymore & there is much less foreplay. How can I help him enjoy cuddling more?

 Concern Reader, DSM.

A.Men do not like cuddling as much as women. A man who will not cuddle at all, or does not engage in enough foreplay - that is not a good sign. He should want to be physically close to you for more than just sex. Since you live apart, it is not like it is something he has to spend a lot of time doing. So as you indicated, I wonder if he really does love you or whether to him this is all very convenient – he gets to have sex with you and say he has a girlfriend, but does not really care that much for you. If that is true, it would mean this is a dead end relationship, that at some point it is going to fall apart, and if that is the case, why stay in it? Better to leave and find someone else who will love you enough that he is willing to cuddle, even if he does not like it all that much. Secondly, that you are not even having enough foreplay makes this situation even worse, as that might mean you are not getting sexual satisfaction. Admittedly I do not know enough about your situation, but I also know that the fact that you wrote to me means you are dissatisfied. So maybe you just have to face up to the truth and end this relationship. If you are really unsure, go to see your doctor, by yourself, just to talk about this some more.

CT Scan and Radiation
Q. My 20 month-old son was slumped in the car with his eyes rolled back, he was unresponsive. I immediately took him to the emergency room, where he quickly came around. A CT scan was obtained as part of the examination. I have heard that a CT scan in children may be related to the development of cancer later in life. What information can you provide on this subject? I am very worried and would appreciate your response.

Concerned Reader, Bukoba.

A. CT images are generated using a special X-ray technique. Therefore, there is a certain level of radiation involved. For a routine CT scan, the level of radiation to the patient is about four times higher than the normal annual radiation dose from natural sources (sun, soil, food, water) to which the patient is exposed. The level of radiation can be adjusted based on body size, so that only the amount of radiation necessary for getting an accurate image is used.
At large centres, special care is taken to keep the radiation dose to an absolute minimum for all patients. They use only what is necessary to get a clear picture and make an accurate diagnosis. The level of radiation is adapted to patients with a smaller body size, children in particular. In a cutting-edge radiology department, they use only state-of-the-art CT scanners that work with a fraction of the radiation dose of older machines. It is known that high levels of radiation may cause cancer. It is highly unlikely that the level of radiation used for a CT scan would cause cancer at some later date. If a doctor thinks that a CT scan is necessary to rule out a serious injury or disease, there is usually a good reason for it. It can be very dangerous to delay the diagnosis of a serious injury or illness. You are at much greater risk of causing permanent damage by not getting the proper diagnosis than by sustaining a one-time exposure to the radiation of a CT scan.